My husband and I had a meeting last week with Lynn, a person we had worked with for some time. We knew she had announced her retirement and wanted a final meeting with her before she left. Of course, I had to ask her why she had decided to retire at this time. Her answer? I am retiring because I am tired! She had been in her position for over thirty years and was successful and beloved. But upcoming changes and demands felt too much. She was 65, exhausted, and ready to move on.
Her answer brought up for me the idea for this column. When persons first retire, they seem to follow one of three paths: charge directly into re-engagement with new hobbies and responsibilities; slip into gloom, doom and depression; or take a break – a retirement honeymoon.
May I suggest the latter. Most of us don’t realize how exhausted we are after all the years of stress. Vacations were never long enough to fully recover from the effect stress has on our bodies. Allow yourself to unwind and recharge. Your retirement honeymoon may last a few months or a few years. But take it! Some may charge right into re-engagement without taking time off. The truth is our careers were exhausting and we owe it to our bodies to give it some downtime along the way to recover.
What should you do during your retirement honeymoon? Your choices are wide open and uniquely your own. Maybe you will explore new interests or take back up old hobbies. Maybe you will take some courses and/or find time to read books. Many people find that embarking on a long trip helps them cope well with the big change of no longer going to work every day. Can you experiment with your pace and give yourself permission to slow down a bit and be more spontaneous? For some of us that is hard!
One of the questions new retirees ask me is “What do I say when friends and former co-workers ask (as they always will), what are you doing now that you are retired?” One wise-guy type answer I say with a smile is: “I do nothing but I do it in the morning so my afternoons are free.” Then I offer a more helpful answer: “Tell them you are taking a gap year”. Most folks understand a gap year as a break often taken (especially in Europe) between high school and college. It enables the young person to rest up and to clarify their goals. It makes total sense that a new retiree would use the first year in a similar way.
Here’s a warning. Beware of taking on too much too quickly. When people find out you have retired, it is not uncommon for offers to serve on a board or undertake another volunteer opportunity to come pouring in. Do you know of a new retiree who says: “I’m busier than ever! I have less free time than when I was working!” That is not necessarily a good thing or a merit badge! My husband was a good bad example. Soon after he retired from a career in human resources, he found himself on four or five boards some of which were less meaningful to him than others. He soon learned to say no to subsequent offers explaining that he had to drop something first before he would take on anything new. An even better ploy may be to say from the beginning – I have promised myself (or my spouse) that I will not take on commitments for at least six months.
Your retirement honeymoon is the beginning of a new time of life. This time-out can also be like a sabbatical, a time to stop and catch your breath. In addition to recharging and relaxing, you could take time to reflect on what has made you the happiest and to reflect and plan for what’s next. Just like a great vacation, it will end at some point. But you will be rested and ready for your next adventures.