By Carl Nelson
Every church has one. The better than thou critical keeper of the rules congregant. At Rev. Malcom’s Fourth Baptist church her name was Margaret. Her usual target was Charlie Walker. Like Margaret, Charlie was a widower.
His faults according to Margaret included his appearance at church, his insistence on sitting in her aisle and he drank a bit and it showed. Most importantly he parked his beat up old red truck next to her BMW. Everyone knew Charlie’s truck. Following the most recent lecture from Margaret after seeing his truck at a bar, he had had enough. What he did was genius, he thought. At 2AM one morning he quietly drove his well-known old Chevy into Margaret’s driveway and parked it. Next Sunday, those who were not already talking about the Charlie/Margaret romance could reference it with the time dated picture on the church bulletin board. Margaret ranted and ranted about the mischief to Rev. Malcom to a point where he had to ask Charlie if he would stop by for a chat. “Vengeance is good for the soul, the Bible says and I feel good” said Charlie, as he entered.
“God never said that” countered Malcom. “Yeah, but he did show some righteous indignation at the money changers”. “You hurt her feelings, you know. She feels that her status in church will never be the same”. “Well, I’ll send her some flowers as a peace offering,” said Charlie. “Not a good time. Some will think it’s carrying on the romance”. “What can we do about this problem, Charlie?” Rev. Malcom asked, hoping for a deeper conversation. “Ok, I’ll behave. It’s all in the past now. With your sense of humor I thought you might get a kick out of my mischief. I remember that Sunday service when you announced it was time to pass the plate and then we would have a moment of prayer for how much we have been gifted. When the plate was handed to you with only nickels and dimes in it, you thanked the Lord for the safe return of the plate. We might share the same devil but in a different way.”
“You are a cruel man for remembering that. Now out you go and be safe in that notorious truck of yours.”