“Mindfulness is paying attention
in the present moment,
without judgment,
as if your life depends on it. – Jon Kabat-Zinn, MD
~ ~ ~
“One touch of nature makes the whole world kin.”
- William Shakespeare, Troilus and Cressida (Act 3, Scene 3)
I looked down today, into a very dark well. I could not see the bottom. I was on a slow walk in the forest, as I have learned to do, when the going gets tough. The well, of course, was inside of me. I had been struggling with something for a long time and now, life circumstances- as they will- presented the perfect situation for me to have to look, really look, into the root of the suffering.
I knew if I turned away, or became distracted, busy, did anything to keep from looking, it would continue to appear, and perhaps even show up later in a more difficult way. “There is never a better time than the present moment to do what is needed” — I hear from deep within me. NO MORE, says I! I will not turn away from this. I am so tired of seeing this angst appearing, over and over again. And I know that what triggers this, is NEVER the “thing”. I know, somehow, I am responsible. So out the door I go into the forest.
We are so intricately connected with Nature. I feel autumn coming long before it puts in an appearance, by the slant of the light or subtle feeling from some smell in the air. It is September, after all, time for these delicious shifts of the senses. As I walked, there were bright, beautiful mushrooms in the forest floor that caught my eye right away. They’d popped up in the night after the rain. How is this possible? Some were bright orange, and tiny; others were tall, white, castles of mystery that could have been a table set for fairies. As I gazed at them and bent down to really see, I felt my heart begin to soften, and my mind open. I felt the absolute necessity of taking this time, to simply be here, and not turn away from all I was becoming aware.
(I love how humor pops in, just in the nick of time, like these mushrooms:
my oldest brother, Tommy, loved the cartoon POGO and sent me this once, and I remember now: “We have found the enemy! And it is us!” (Walt Kelly Pogo April 22, 1971)
Somewhere, deep within, I knew that any irritation, hurt, and blame I was feeling in the current situation was a decoy. Very familiar. The ABCs rearing their heads: Accusation, Blame, and Criticism, a well-known scapegoat from looking deeper to my own responsibility in the matter, my own attitude and I don’t like what I see.
A strange peace in my breath returns as I turn back toward home. Near some newly planted flowers, I see the butterfly. It is large, a yellow, swallowtail! Only this ONE butterfly seemed to notice ME. I stood still, watching as its large wings moved so very SLOWLY. I mean, so slowly as if it were dancing in air. It flew away within my sight, and kept coming back to me,– circling, landing on the ground, then, up again. It was that movement: the slowness and gentleness of movement that suddenly REMINDED ME of my own ability to be graceful and soften, to open, and be completely present. I became aware of a sense of strengthening in me. Realizing I am capable. I can stay with this and learn.
How this happens, I do not understand, though I do know, and all those reading this who have had some experience of nature speaking to them, know. Sometimes when we are able to “be with what is” even when it’s difficult, –especially when it’s difficult,– we may notice other things—like in that stillness of the pause, and become really honest with ourselves. We’re able to pause, and with this, clarity comes.
Why I love Mindfulness meditation. Contemplation. The practice and tools of being fully present with what is. Why it’s called “practice”—no different than learning a new sport, or playing a new musical instrument, the more we “show up” and do our best,–regardless–there’s a shift, there’s space for something new to emerge.
I have been teaching this now for many years: Mindfulness, and Mindfulness-based Stress Reduction, and since coming to live here in the the Hickory Nut Gorge, working as a Nature and Forest Therapy Guide, I have this amazing place that teaches me!
At least that is what I am experiencing –and I’m increasingly hearing from others who are practicing “loving awareness” or Metta (a Pali word that means loving kindness). It’s simple, and the hardest thing ever: we must begin with ourselves. Be kind to ourselves. And Nature, our lifelong teacher is HERE to help us. We’ve lots of company– in the trees, the mountains, the river, each other.
Mind of Light
When you are stressed or worried, look at how your mind works.
When you’re relaxed and softened, look at how your mind works.
See the difference, let yourself see the world in a completely new way.
Soften your heart and open your mind.
- Richard Rudd, The Sage