“Men go to gape at mountain peaks, at the boundless tides of the sea, the broad sweep of rivers, the encircling oceans and motions of the stars; and yet they leave themselves unnoticed: they do not marvel at themselves.”
- St. Augustine
“The unexamined life is not worth living.”
- Socrates
As an educator for most of my life, and more recently as a Mindfulness instructor and coach, and now as a Nature and Forest Therapy guide, I continue to marvel at our abilities to not just survive, but indeed, to thrive.
A mindfulness practice is really an “awareness practice”: bringing a kind awareness to whatever we are experiencing in the moment, and not turning away when things get difficult. It is training in “quieting the mind” and “tending the heart” and it pays off in big ways over time. As one teacher has said: “When we are faithful to our practice, our practice will be faithful to us.”
It takes courage, and grit to face whatever arises—no matter what—and to be curious, let it speak to us, tell us what we need to know about ourselves.
Several months ago, a dedicated participant in my mindfulness class began to have increasing hip pain. When she went to her doctor and was referred to a surgeon who recommended surgery, she came to me and asked for assistance. She was terrified of having surgery at her age–especially having anesthesia—she was then, 99. Her many months of strong mindfulness practice, “paying attention in the present moment without judgment” had given her the space, and clarity, to consider what to do. As we sat together and allowed her own wisdom to guide the way, she decided to tell the surgeon that she would agree to the surgery with local anesthesia only. Reluctantly this was granted –though she had to sign an agreement, that if during surgery it was absolutely necessary, she would agree to it.
What happened then, was a beautiful, if dramatic, and often very funny example of the power of sustained mindfulness meditation practice. I agreed to meet with her weekly, and to be with her through the surgery. On our first meeting, I asked her to recall events in her 99 years, where she was at the ‘top of her game’ and felt confident and strong, so that we could practice and “rehearse” this for the day of surgery. She seemed to know immediately what to share: as a young woman growing up in New York, she had been on Broadway and, the star of a comedy titled, “Lovely Me”. I asked her to describe her character’s age, what she was wearing in detail, and the story line—which was hilarious—and then I asked if she knew the value of “rehearsal” and “staying in character”. Did she think she could practice this through the surgery? “OF COURSE I CAN!” she replied with complete assurance. And, she did. The doctors and nurses were amazed. The surgery took a third of the time they had predicted, and later, on a follow-up visit, yes, she danced with her surgeon.
Last week we celebrated her 100th birthday with slides and photos of those early years and with great hilarity, the decades of her interesting life.
I share this now, as I contemplate the many ways we are each so different and yet also, the same. I marvel at the human spirit and ability and wisdom of the body, mind and heart to endure. “Everyone is suffering;” I heard my own teacher say long ago, “how could we be other than kind?”
These practices are simple, yes. But not so easy. It takes courage to look at one’s life with honesty and not turn away from the suffering parts, but to “allow” and be with, whatever may arise. And we never know, do we? From day to day. But the one constant is our choice in how we respond. We learn that we have choice when we create the space: we practice by slowing down, in the moment, with a pause and bring our awareness to the breath, especially our belly breath, like a baby breathes.
Mindfulness resources abound. Those interested in learning a mindfulness practice may contact me at drmattie.decker@gmail.com or find many rich resources online.
