Who even uses road maps for travel these days? I remember my bewilderment years ago when my young adult niece, Maggie, relied upon her phone for directions instead of consulting a road map. Now we all rely upon our gadgets for help in navigation. But is there a basic road map retirees can use to help them figure out how they want to navigate their life during this new stage?
My research says no. There is not a standard road map or template to follow. There is only the one we construct for ourselves. You are entering uncharted (but potentially liberating and exhilarating) territory.
In keeping with the roadmap theme, let’s work on building you a plan that contains such things as alternate routes, rest stops, detours, and travel companions.
Alternate routes. Just about everyone you know will have lots of advice on how to live a fulfilling life after leaving work. Some of it will be conflicting. Don’t get overly scheduled or you’ll lose the freedom you have earned. Make sure you have a reason to get out of bed each day. Focus on former interests and hobbies. Start something new. Work part-time. Volunteer. Travel. Relax. Be with family. Make new friends. Choices come at you from all directions. Listen with an open mind but try not to worry too much about what other people think. (Possible exceptions are spousal opinions which get extra weight to better ensure marital harmony.)
People of retirement age are pursuing many, many different paths from traveling to spending most of their time babysitting grandchildren. They probably have less in common now than they did while in school or working part-time. As you look to map out a course that is right for you try to avoid “supposed to do” thinking. Experiment with many alternate routes and allow yourself to drop or replace those activities that don’t bring you pleasure along the way.
Rest stops. When you initially retire, you may want to take a break – a retirement honeymoon. Most of us don’t realize how exhausted we are after all the years of stress. Vacations were never long enough to fully recover from the effect stress has on our bodies. Your retirement honeymoon may last a few months or a few years. But take it! Some may charge right into re-engagement without taking time off. The truth is our careers were exhausting and we owe it to our bodies to give it some downtime along the way to recover.
A rest stop is a great way to mitigate the shock of the sudden change in your daily schedule. One couple I know left on a long trip immediately after retirement. Instead of wondering what was going on at their former workplaces, they were navigating new places. They deliberately made no commitments before they left. Taking a trip gave them time and space to leisurely consider and explore what they might want to include in their next chapter together.
Detours. The road is not always straight. Best laid plans sometime encounter circumstances that make us change our plans even if temporarily. Caring for yourself or a loved one during a serious illness is an obvious one. So is the need to care for aging parents or assume a major role in the care of grandchildren. Maybe you are offered and accept a temporary position in an area of expertise. In any case a detour is a pivot that requires your time and energy. When you are ready to return to the main road, allow yourself some time to pause, reflect and regroup. Maybe the detour could take you to new places you wouldn’t have been exposed to on the main road to Plan A.
Travel companions. A 2023 Harvard study found that the #1 retirement challenge was replacing the connections with others formerly found at work. The researchers stated: “Retirees don’t miss working – they miss the people.” People who fare the best in retirement find ways to cultivate connections with others.
You can make your own mix of old friends and new friends. There will be a few former work colleagues that you can continue to see if you are deliberate about it. Now may be your chance to rekindle relationships with childhood friends or former schoolmates. You may meet new kindred spirits through the activities, classes and volunteer commitments you take up.
If you are part of a couple, don’t assume your partner has a similar map to yours for retirement. Sometimes each member of a couple gets to retirement assuming “things” are going to be a certain way but neither has tried to find out if their partner’s vision is the same. Once you know whether your visions are the same or not, you can start exploring your options and working toward agreement.
Age-related adjustments. Your road map, if you are fortunate enough to live a long life, will need adapting. What is attractive or possible at 65 may not be at 75 or 85. Hopefully we will learn to embrace the “what’s next” question not as something to fear but as something to look forward to tackling.
Happy trails!
