This is a joint post from the author and her husband. One of the biggest decisions we have to make as we get older is where do we want to live. Do we want to “age in place” and stay in our current home? Will we want to move to be closer to family or to an area we loved while on vacation? Should we downsize to a smaller home? Would a continuing care retirement community best meet our needs?
My husband Steve and I recently made the decision to move from our home of 37 years to a continuing care community (CCC) in our own city. We hope that sharing our thoughts about why we made this choice might be useful to other readers facing a similar decision.
We had been on the wait-list for this particular community for about five years. (Wait lists for the most desirable CCC’s are growing due to the number of people in our demographic so it is a good idea to sign up now even if you do not anticipate wanting to move any time soon.) We would have had to wait much longer except for the fact that the facility was able to acquire some land and build ten new homes. We were offered one of them and we decided to take it. We will move in in about a year.
Why did a CCC seem to be the best option for us? First of all, it helps us simplify our lives. All maintenance (including changing air filters and light bulbs) is handled by maintenance. There is no yard maintenance. If we want to travel, we just lock the door and go. Our current home has two levels, the new one has one. Factoring in heavily for us is our desire to remove the primary responsibility for our care as we grow older from our only son and his wife.
How do we feel about leaving our long-term home? The first emotions we both felt after signing the contract were nostalgia and sadness. We have lived in this home and in this neighborhood for almost forty years. Our son grew up here. We like our neighbors. This feels like a huge change, yet it is what we both have decided is best for us.
The primary disadvantage of moving into a CCC is that you do not have any equity in the home. You pay substantial entrance fee (comparable to the price of a new house). Then you have a monthly fee calculated for two people in our case. Our monthly fee includes real estate taxes and property insurance (you do need contents insurance), water/sewer, garbage, lawn care, cable TV & internet, weekly housekeeping service and linens, all interior and exterior maintenance, transportation as needed, access to social and educational events, pool and health club membership, and a dining credit of about $400 per month per person. Our fee does not include electricity and natural gas. It is helpful to calculate your current average monthly expenses for comparison. In our case, they were roughly equal.
To us, there are many advantages to living in a CCC community. Having access to the fitness facility and classes will enable us to stay as healthy as possible for as long as we can. We already know several other couples and individuals who live there. They tell us that they have enjoyed the opportunity to make new friends which can be harder for some folks as they age. We will certainly enjoy the freedom from the worries and expense of maintaining a home. And, of course, the peace of mind from knowing that – should one or both of us need additional care later on – moving into the CCC’s assisted living and skilled nursing facilities are options.
There will be challenges associated with moving. The living space is smaller so some downsizing of furniture and belongings will be necessary. We will have to market and sell our house. Hopefully we can move in on our own terms without having to store our belongings or relocate ourselves temporarily.
Lastly, the “same wife” part of the title. We feel lucky that we are on the same page about where to live in retirement. A growing share of divorces in the U.S. occurs to middle-aged and older adults. Whereas only 8% of all persons divorcing in 1990 were aged 50 or older, today the share is nearly 40%. People live active lives much longer, leaving decades ahead and prompting individuals to leave unfulfilling partnerships. Our advice to other couples is to talk about your expectations concerning the future and don’t assume you are on the same page.
Luckily for us – we are. Steve would like to close with “My wife, I think I’ll keep her.”
