Today is your next parental experience! (or, grandparent) You get to choose! You get to create! You, the parents who have done the most incredible job ever of clothing, feeding, sheltering, and inspiring your off-spring, get to make decisions today that will affect the present moment.
Decisions today. Not yesterday. Not tomorrow. “Today is your day!” as Dr. Seuss enthusiastically wrote.
Parents who live in the present moment not only with their kids, but with themselves ask, “What can I do today that will positively affect my present moment?”
Fabulous question!
The 15 parent and teen books I wrote after teaching middle school for 10 years are imbued with lists of options. Lists work. Lists are defining. Once made, they exist. Notepad. White paper. Blue ink. Handwritten. Bottom line: lists are empowering, world-opening creations.
Because the end of quarter and parent conferences are just around the corner, this topic of creating and choosing options is timely, yes?
As the self-proclaimed queen of “You always have options with everything!” (ask my daughter and husband, who have heard this phrase about two million times…so far), it is rewarding to prove to parents that they always have options with everything – even with a lower-than-expected end of quarter report from teachers.
So, option lists assist parents because, let’s be real, parenting can be filled with lots of ups and downs just like roller coaster rides or ocean waves. We adults forget that we have options, too, especially when a child (or grandchild) is screaming, crying, throwing a book bag across the room, expressing how unfair life is, or giving – such a classic – the silent treatment. But, we all still always have options such as:. (note: Safety first. Options such as police, medical providers, etc. may be warranted immediately)
- Start humorously dancing or singing
- Begin a yoga giggle circle
- Encourage shaking out the tension in the body
- Stay out of the drama/don’t get on your child’s roller coaster ride
- Send mental love images to your child
- Know this is your child’s experience and not yours
- Understand the only reaction is to realize it is your job to bring your child back to balance
- Remind: “Anger is okay as long as you, others, and things don’t get hurt unless it’s our family’s designated anger pillow.”
- Breathe deep belly breaths through the nose
- Say upon leaving the room, “I see that you are upset. I want to help. I’ll be back when you can talk about it.”
- Notice your child currently is in the “Land of Limitations” when the “Land of Possibilities” is available
- Play classical music
- Begin the silent communication game
- Start a long list of options
- Smile as this is your parental opportunity to teach, “You always have options with everything!”
Truth: At least 100 more options exist. By creating together the magic list of options, you’ll be amazed how the list grows. After an outburst, a looooooong list of options provides empowered relief for everyone.
What do you choose in this present moment?
Lizabeth Jenkins-Dale, M.Ed. is an experienced teacher, multiple book author, and dragonfly painter. More information about her passion to assist families can be found at www.lizabethjenkinsdale.com.
