Ahhh…as cooler temperatures entice our skin and leaves fall like escaped lint particles from the dryer filter, sensations and thoughts about the upcoming holiday season become very present.
Q: Whose holiday season is it?
A: For all those who participate.
All of the members in a family unit need input regarding events, food, company, gifts, and anything else associated with the holiday season. This includes young children, teens, and returning home college kids.
As a parent and middle school teacher for 10 years, practical as well as humorous suggestions are presented here for your consideration and amusement.
One. Inquire. Ask your children what they liked about last year’s holiday season and didn’t enjoy. If you worked hard to create Maw-Maw’s fruitcake recipe again while everyone wrinkled their noses, it is time to reconsider traditions and efforts. Perhaps, your budding teen would like to have time with so-and-so this year. Maybe your pre-teen has very specific clothing tastes now. And, seeing the same light show as the previous eight years isn’t a fav anymore. Ask! It’s their holiday season, too.
Two. Maintain personal sacredness. Purposely implement personal balance time for everyone in your family because the concerts, parties, giving, receiving, and eating all carry energetic weight. Just as we monitor how often meals are consumed, monitor the balance of gifts going out and coming in as well as quiet time and social time. Enjoying lighting the plethora of seasonal candles now on display in your home or staring at your decorated tree can fulfill the personal quiet time balance with the busyness of getting a big dinner on the table in time to avoid cold mashed potatoes.
Three. Realize charity is positively selfish and optional. Charity actions that come through heart energy are wonderful experiences and are completely selfish in that they bring as much joy to the recipient as the giver. Joy is the reason to participate with charity so check that all family members are on board.
Four. Consider (literally) outside-of-the-box gifts. As the holiday it-has-to-be-perfect frenzy is presented in seemingly a bombardment of TV commercials, think outside the box such as experiential events vs. physical gifts. Walking with your personal llama at a farm for an hour or two would be fun, yes? Zipping down a mountain is exhilarating. How about a family afternoon at an arcade playing games of years gone by? Family axe throwing, anyone?
Five. Deliver your own teacher presents. (This suggestion is my middle school teacher favorite.) Red-faced, early teens quickly shoving mother-directed presents into teacher arms saying, “Here. My mother said to give to this to you,” with a quick retreat out the classroom door still makes me chuckle to this day. Acknowledging a small group of middle schoolers are confident and thrive during these curious years, in contrast, most are still proficient social skill wannabes. If you plan to provide educator holiday gifts (remember the school secretary, janitor, nurse, librarian, bookkeeper, and administration, too), please deliver them yourself. There will be plenty of opportunity to teach gift giving etiquette to your children later.
Plan an informed, balanced holiday season and then, truly, the holiday season will belong to everyone in your family.
Lizabeth Jenkins-Dale, M.Ed. is an experienced teacher, multiple book author, dragonfly painter, and creator of The Multi-Dimensional Parenting Program. More information about her passion to assist families can be found at www.lizabethjenkinsdale.com.
